Pardon? Pardon?

When I was a boy on holiday in Norway, I often visited Strandheim, the home of my great–grandfather Hans Dahl, about 500m down the road from Villa Lorna. Among his relics (he had died in 1938) was a brass telescopic ear trumpet, and I remember trying it out to see how much better I could hear. The answer was 'not a lot'.
But today I have my own digital ear trumpet; in fact two, one for each ear. They are so small, so clever, so unobtrusive...if it were not for the price, I could believe they weren't there at all. They are a brace of Oticon Tego behind-the-ear aids with a thin sound tube; click this link for more information if you're interested.
The clue that I might need hearing aids came when I found the greatest benefit of our new digital TV was the Closed Caption feature (aka subtitles). I just could not hear what all these sweaty heroes and simpering heroines were talking about against the background music and effects. "Why don't they speak up!" "Can't these idiots mix sound properly?" And so on—you can fill in the rest for yourself.
So it's off to sit in front of the TV tonight, to see if I can hear that rubbish any better!